My new year resolution...

2008. Just another year.

Tried to be good this (last?) year, but that didn't work. It sorta, kinda, fucked me up really good. But that's life.

When you put other peoples' needs and feelings before your own, trying to please everybody. That means that.

You've pleased everyone but yourself.

So come 2009...

This year is about me. I'm gonna try everything at least once. I'm gonna be bad.

I'm gonna be me.

Happy new year everybody...

Flat-Lined, Then Came Back... Partially...

_________________. . . . . . . . .



I'm digging this











Lyrics | Within Temptation - Julian (i’d give my heart) lyrics

Of lights out, closed eyes and passed out...

Had the wierdest dream last night.

Dreamed of landslides, catching rare fish, huge rocks falling from the sky, damn cruel human-looking aliens in spaceships shooting down innocent by-stander, hell they even shot a baby.

I guess dreams are just dreams. Night time entertainment, that's all, and that last nights' dream was the unrated version.

What's new? I used to be depressed. Now I'm still depressed AND on medication. That's a good improvement.

I want out. Any angel of mercy out there?

If You Forget Me...

Well, now if little by little you stop loving me,I shall stop loving you, little by little.

If suddenly you forget me,do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you.

... Year End Crisis...

It's time. Again. Time to rethink about everything. Time to re-evaluate. Time to look again and see.

A few more weeks to a brand new year.

All I can say is, this year sucks. Same like last year and the year before.

Made a few friends. Made a few enemies.

As the year draws closer and closer to its end, my patience is drawing shorter and shorter. It's like this mind is acting on time-specific-event basis.

Am feeling suicidal, but that's nothing new.

Am here but longs to be else where. I'd feel the same from where I'm about to go. I'm sure.

Happy New Year...

I'm digging this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89V7hvEmSD8

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home
Aahh, the sun is blindingI stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safeUp high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No painInsideYou're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
When I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"
Aahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe Up high
Nothing can touch meBut why do I feel this party's over?No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm comin' down
Comin' down
Comin' down
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Looking for myself.. Sober

Comin' down
Comin' down
Comin' down
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Looking for myself..
Sober

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good,
'till it goes bad

Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry
Never again
Broken down in agony
And just trying to find a friend

I'm safe Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm safeUp high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside

You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?
How do I feel this good sober?

Making My Life Real

I purposely hurt myself just to remind myself that this, all of this is real.

You know when you're drunk, you tend to do silly stuff. I'm always drunk, with out booze.

After a while, trying to adjust and adapt. After many, many crazy sleepless nights, the cold-turkey method of getting over you, now you're back.

I dont know if I should be happy or pissed off.

I want you back. I dont want you back. Iwant you like the first time I saw you. I dont want you looking the day you left me.

This is all so confusing.

Maybe another wound should do the trick.

I think it's nice to have someone to come home to. To hold. To love. The begining was nice. The ending...

Been Busy Doing Nothing... :B

What I did today...

Woke up late... Cos slept late... Did nothing with no one... Hehehehe... Can't remember actually...

Did Laundry...

Kemas umah...

Called Mr Josh to come and do my internet wiring... Asked him to take my other PCs for repair...

Fetched Kak CT from work. Ate my heart out while having breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper sumwhere... Temptations!!! Arghhh!!! Cannot tahan d...

Bought 6 baby bichir...

Saw Piena alone... Sat with her... Later AA joined us... Drove home... Picked a fight with my pc...

I think the world will be a better place for me IF... *

*refer above pix.

Crazy Week

I got THE CAR d!!!!

Aiyo... So happy...

Anyway, today I know who my real friends are... I tak mandi sehari, gi jalan merata dunia kat Langkawi, went to the bank twice, makan at more then 3 places and my friends still managed to hang out with me... Pity Ms. Halina ngan Ms. Piena la... U guys punya hidung memang koman la... hahahaha...

My new car picked a fight with Ms. Piena... It was a very "heart-moving" experience to see how she entered and exited the car... Gelak sampai sakit perut...

Heard sum stupid story about someone who got lucky and endured poking and jerking for 5 hours... That's 300 minutes or 18,000 seconds of poking, pushing, pulling, bumping and grining. Gila.

Today started with a wake up call by Ms. Halina and ended unexpectedly... I went out with....

I'm not telling, but lets just say that six long months of waiting... Haiz...

Lovey Dovey mode kini kembali...

But too early to say for sure... I may have to end my single status again for this year...... Haiz... So many new frontiers to explore... :p

OKlah... gotta sleep d... Nite2 world...

The unedited, un-air-brushed, unwashed me... Hehehe... for someone who x mandi more than 24hrs... I looked kinda good...

I May Look Happy But...

My Heart is Yours.

What the hell does that means?

Well, it means something.

Science tells us that the body cannot function without a heart. Real heart or a fake one. Doesn't matter, as long as there's something there to pump and circulate blood around the body.

Love-wise...

I give you my heart (but I'll need yours in return because science taught me so and so...)

So what happens when one's heart-broken?

People deal with this is a very individual way. Some people do this, some people do that,some people refuse to do anything.

I'm happy today. Yes. I am.

But the funny thing is, the happier I get in public, the more depressed I am when I'm alone. It's like a scale, with the zero feeling set in the middle, with happiness at one end and that familiar shitty feeling at the other end and the mark moves both ways at once...

It sounds confusing I know, but imagine for a second to where I'm at.

So yesterday went full circle... Had a great time hanging out until 2 pagi with Madonna and friends.

Had a great time with Halina, Piena, Kak Ani and friends, had a great time with Dato' Ranjit, Dato Khairi, Encik Rashid, Captain Rana and the HMA boys from batch 14, had a great time at the kenduri and Abang Shams' birthday bash, had a shitty time driving home due to the fact that I forgot my thumbdrive and had to listen to my break-up soundtrack. Hopefully no one noticed the last bit...

Life, death, joy, sorrow, love, hate, meaning... Big thoughts, short reflection.

Almost six months now since you left the keys, to my house and to my heart... I'd still be yours if you still want me.

Too Much Sleep... Too Much Dreaming... Too Much Hoping... Still Nothing...

Unable to stay... Unwilling to leave... What should I do?

Not Heterosexual, Not Homosexual, Not Bisexual... Just Sexual... TQ

I think one sexual preferences does not concern other people, except people who one have sex with. Kan?

Story-Telling...

Once upon a time. There was this group of people. They were happy... Until...



So the story goes.

So go and ask every one of them, there will be different versions of the story. And if you ask any one of them, they will tell a slightly different version of the real story. And the real version will soon be lost. Somewhere.



It's funny when people talks bad about people.



It's a joke to imagine someone actually talking about you and the things you do especially those who share intimate stories about people. But secrets are useless unless you share it with people. You gossip. You add bits of your opinion here and there.



Go ahead. Let your imagination run WILD. It's OK.



We all have our own way to deal with things.



Some people gets hot instantly and cools down just as fast. Some people just explodes. Some just shrugged things off and laughed.



I used to freak out and make a scene when people talk bad about me. Now I just don't give a damn when people bad-mouth me, in private, in public, what ever...



To people who may think this post is about him or her, get a dog, get a husband if you can't manage to snag one, order a "rabbit" online, get help, get a life. This one is for you.

P/S: Kindly read the blog title carefully... It says "My Car, My Dick, My Life, My Business". Thank you for reading.

What day is it today?

Yesterday was like a blur... hehehe... Anyway I had a great time Emceeing the 3P Seminar... I always find myself uncomfortable among kids... Hate them... But donno why, yesterday ok je... Mebbe the kids are as big as myself...

My butt-shrinking diet shrunk my butt too much... Some people commented I looked flat from behind... Dono why some people paid too much attention to my behind... Aiya...

So the weather is like dono what to say la... Left LADA with the top down... Keta punya top mind you... The weather was like so nice... Not too hot... Not too cold... Drove pass Pasar Malam Kuah then it was like so hot... then when I passed Trimula, it was like so gelap and windy all of a sudden... Then... While I was waiting for my makan2, it was raining cats, dogs and pickup-trucks... Haiz...

Then I met Cikgu Pheng. I haven't seen him for a while. He didn't recognize me.... hahaha... Adei...

Then I went home at about 7pm November 1, unwrap my makan, went mandi, while I was drying myself, I lay-down for a few sec... And I woke up at 10.00am November 2. Hehehe...

Cannot Decide Which Color! Help!

Original Color- Blue

First Choice: Dark Canvas Green

Second Choice: Burning Gray Black

Third Choice : Somewhere between first choice and second choice...

Just stop everything and think about it...

The question popped out unexpectedly...

"What is it that you want to change?"

Raising my cup half-way and bending my neck down to meet it, I was caught off guard.

Errr... What is it that I want to change?

A long pause.

Well, everything. I guess. If possible.

I knew that at that time I didn't sound convincing enough, but hell, when someone asked you these deep, probing questions over a drink, over what can be considered a first date, you'll start thinking about what kind of question this person will ask you after a few months of living together.

It's been 5 months now. Five very long months. Five very lonely months. Readjusting myself. Been through hell. But it's ok. You can say the same about me.

me going gaga like mad....

In the midst of... Then I... Then he... Then we.... Then after that... Then I... But he was... So I thought... Then he decided to... I dont think that was a good idea... Then we tried.... But in the end it didn't work out for both of us... So I....

Pix!

Tiring Time is Back... Yay!!!

I'm a Dodge Viper! (Sorry I Killed James Dean...)

You're all about raw power. You're tough, you're loud, and you don't take crap from anyone. Leave finesse to the other cars, the ones eating your dust.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

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Honda S2000: 230674 (2%)

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Mercedes SLK: 407715 (4%)

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Lotus Elise: 235107 (2%)

Nissan 350Z: 253579 (3%)

Yesterday...

Someone told me not to expect anything from everything. This was years ago... That same person also said to me, when you're up there, you need to look down once in a while, to see familiar faces just in case things fucked up and you ended up with them at the bottom.

I remembered that person for this.

So today started as usual. Not really. I woke up and the first thing I did was smile at the mirror. It smiled back. Then I went about my usual morning routine. Then I went out on a date... Not really a date... Just an outing with some new friend. Expected nothing from this date. At the end... I think I had a great time. We talk and talk and talk and for a moment there seems to be a spark. But that was my ciggy spark la... Burned the back of my palm badly... But that's OK, burn mark heals, heartbreak heals, betrayal will be a lesson learned and and in time will be forgiven.

Let's just simply put it as WE both had a great time. Yeah. That's a good change for me. I've been depressed long enough. It's time to move on. Now is always a good time. Shouldn't have wasted months waiting and waiting but in the end...

So this is about me at the moment.

Every time a relationship ended, I said to myself, that I'd never make the same mistake again. But instead, I ended up making new ones. I've dated the right person at the wrong time or the wrong person at the right time. I rejected someone with all the wrong reasons. I treated people badly and was treated badly. So I experienced both ends. I have nothing to complain about.

I love my life.

If I can turn back time, I'd say I'd make all the same mistakes again, but only sooner.

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Hehehe... Could be too much sugar during "dim sum"ing with M.

No.... Not that M!!!! Kah kah kah...

I silicon-coated my hair today. Paid almost a hundred for a slight sheen on ones' hair is not what I'd usually do... But I wanted to be "pampered" today. This was after yours truly and Dato Ranjit had a great laugh with the boys (future pilots) from batch 13.

Then I got home and took a shower, and sang to myself in the shower. I miss that someone who loves to sing in my shower. It's funny how fast bad memories tend to disappear in time, now I'm left with the sweet memories when we were together. How I fell for this person. The long car drive to no where. The song requests by me for this person to sing. The singing. The morning cuddle. Watching movies. The stupid dance we used to do. I guess that was the first time I really fell in love. As I said, all that's left was the memory of once upon a time this person and that person were attached. A memory. Painful and sweet at the same time.

Dah dah... kang jadik novel plaks... I'm going to bed with a smile tonight. Later i want to wake up and smile at the mirror again.

Just Passing Through... Through Everything...

Bored! Bored from the start until now.

Did laundry, half way. Masak makan, makan half-way, nak mandi, pakai towell, jalan half-way gi bilik mandi, cancelled last minute. Nak mancuh Neskopi, oso half-way, takat boil the water jek. Tengok DVD Casino Royale, half-way dvd shilaker itu stuck plaks...

Isk... I don't like being tensed without any apparent reason.

Mencix10.

Post raya anxiety.

Tomorrow got rehearsal at Bella Vista. Saturday got HMA Graduation. Then got konti after that. Pakcik penat! Pakcik broke! Pakcik tension!

Lepas ni nak clear peti ais yang sarat terlebih muatan itu... Sure buat half-way jugak.

My life sucks... Well NOT Really...

I got bored today. Slept at almost four... Woke up twelve hours later feeling dumb... Ngeee... I dressed up in my dark brown baju melayu but cannot find my dark brown sampin... So i went to the office sans sampin... Bumbung keta kena slash... Again... Dealt with the problem with a tube of superglue...

OK la... Nak kuar gi amek mak angkat...

Btw... Brown baju melayu, dark brown sandals and I brought choc cake to the office... To complete the look... No need to explain... PIX...

The head alone costs RM110... It's expensive nowdays to stay cute... Lucky for people who are born cute... If you're not born with it... Fake it...

Britney Spears' Oops I Did It Again Feels Eerily So True...

Selamat Hari Raya to all... (Sigh of relief here)

Nomore, staying up all night for sahur (yay!), No more cold shower in the middle of the night (yay yay!)... No more cooking for berbuka puasa (errr... Ok la). No more doing the dishes (YAHOO!!!)

Somebody made a (shocking, really shocking, as in shocked till almost dropped the phone shocking) declaration tonight...

(Sighs) How do one have a fling or some innocent fun without making people without love getting in the way???

I mean like, it's normal for people to go out on a date. That means you feel comfortable enough to be seen in public with that person.

It's normal to chat about things, it's called getting to know one another.

Then if the other person doesn't say much, one need to ask questions right?

How do you think a guy should act "friendly" without sending out the wrong message?

The date went so so so wonderfully... Until some one fell in love... (SMACK LOUDLY ON THE FOREHEAD)...

It's called courtesy questions or to put it bluntly, it's like "OK-I'm-Tired-Of-Talking-About-Myself-Now-It's-Your-Turn" kind of thing.

Then if one managed to get lucky on the first date... That doesn't mean the scary "C" word right? In case u're wondering... The scary "C" word is commitment.

It's almost the same every fookin time. It started as a fling, at least for yours truly, then the other person wanted more.

And most of the time this old fool will agree and finally, innocently fell in love...

That's when things usually turned bad...

I dont want another heartbreak this year. I'm still recovering from the last one (NO, not the one where I was rejected by someone, that never HAPPENED, I only date someone within the same age group and recently, I prefer someone younger... The younger... The better!!! I hope I'm making myself very, very, very clear now. Thank you).

So the question is... I forgot the question liao...

I always reminded myself to remember the line "nice to see, nice to hold, once broken considered sold"- I paid a lot and still paying for it at the moment...

So let's just skip the relationship and tell me, how much do I have to pay?

If I ask you will you sleep with someone handsome and rich for a million ringgit, usually the answer is "Well, maybe, err... Yes la kot..."

Then the next question is - Will you sleep with an average guy for ten ringgit? Then the answer will usually be "Hell no!!! What do you think I am????"- I think we've settled on the matter, now we're negotiating the price...

I am so not going out on a date again!!!

Talking Metaphors

Imagine a ship sailing in a sea full of trinkets...

The sailor/captain collects those on his journey...

Then he realised that his ship is full and he risks sinking. The question- should he be a romantic freak and hold on to everything dear to him? Or... Should he be cruel and throw away things that doesn't mean too much for him? BTW... I added one more trinket to my collection... I dont know how to swim...

I'm Feeling Off...

I'm feeling off... A bit... OK... Alot!

This usually happens to me when there's a celebration around the corner... Birthdays... Festivities... It's normal for me but is that normal?

So what's new... Lost almost 10kgs during the fasting month. Hopefully to lose summore.

I have this silly infatuation for married people. I know it's bad. It's very bad but I can't help myself. I turn to mush with these people... Yes, that means more than one married person. Hehehe...

Crazy stuff I've done these past few weeks since I last posted, there are many, but a few worth mentioning. I went on a dare... A crazy dare. It was crazy, it was fun.

Pierced my labret (lower lips la). It was scary but not painful at all. I can do it everyday until I ran out of lower lip area to pierce.

I think I've said enough... Pix!

Me being naughty.

Another one...

Opss... Been Bad... Didn't Mean to Do It...

Been bitter at someone lately... You know who you are... I think it's better not talking about "it" rather than talking about "it" and wait for things to blow out of hand. So we had fun together. We tried, things didn't work out. That's it.

Two bad relationship in one year... That's a new record even by my standard. I mean the first one was a mistake. The second one, well, a rebound.

So after a long long long time... Someone finally (in a cute way)ask me out on a date... I was like (raising my depressed emotionally unstable face and went like WHAT?!)but anyway I decided to play along and see what it feels like to go on a traditional date... Hehehe...

Traditional? I've never been traditional all my life... I'm a left-handed guy... I only eat with spoon... No fork oso can eat... I don't know how to tie kain pelikat and sampin... What else? I pee standing up (normal for a guy, a big no no for traditional guy and of course girls) I can go on and on listing just how untraditional I am.

But that's not my point.

Anyway I went out on a date. Yeah... But it's not my point to let people know that I got lucky or anything... It's funny when you expect so much from someone or something... Things always magically screw up on you... Then when you don't expect anything from someone... Everything turned out so beautiful and you both ended up having a great time.

It's a very much a welcomed change from my usual daily mundane life. Whatever that means. You see lately my life is like in either "depressed mode" or "more depressed than usual mode".

Small things can be very annoying... Small things can be wonderful... Small things can be painful... It's a whole universe that can be found in small things... A dish is just a dish but the condiment (usually consists of small things) that makes the dish memorable...

I think I'll stop typing now... Elizabeth Taylor once said that once you show people everything, you have nothing else to show... Hehehe... Right on...

Rite... Now Moving on... Next Dumb Thing to Do Please...

I have 7 piercings... Well two healed, but really, I pierced 7 times at seven different places. So that means another five to go... But wait... The last bit is supposed to be "holed" on my birthday. I'll do it myself... Ain't showing people my weiner except for the funnest thing to do when people show their weiner to other people, rite? Speaking of which... I had witness the stupidest/funniest thing earlier today...

I'm on my usual crash diet... Which is in fact useless because yesterday before I squeezed all of my 6 pairs of Baju Melayu into my bag to send them to the laundry, I tried the latest one... The second time I tried it on, the first one was infront of my mom back in errr... January? February? Back then it was OK on me... So as I was saying, I tried... And... Dang... I was fat back then... So basically... Losing summore weight will mean I'll have to tie a rubber band to the side of my pants to keep them on...

So in order not to look like a cow, or to put it in a polite way, not to be a cow-sized people person, I had to eat like a cow... I mean first day only fruits (monkey-diet), second day only vegetables (cow diet), Third day fruits and vegetable (both monkey and cow diet), fourth day banana and milk (errr... Baby diet? Makes one pass pale shit, seriously... Shit looks even more shittier without the shitty hue of dark brown), fifth day (hell in the kitchen- tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes and more friggin tomatoes), Sixth day beef/rice with vegetables, last day beef/rice, vegetables and fruit juice...

So I went on a little shopping at Langkawi Parade... I parked my car and headed to the loo (the darn diet demands at least 16 glasses of plain water mind you, my kidneys are cursing me at the moment) so as I was peeing while holding the damn door closed (no selak) I overheard a conversation between a little kid (boy, about 5-6 years old) and his older relative (a young looking father or a brother in late 20s' early 30s')

So both of them were peeing at the urinator, both were laughing and the kid was asking to have a peek at the brothers'/fathers' "you know what" la...

And when I came out from the cubicle I saw the kids was actually looking at the damn thing (smack forehead kuat2 dalam hati)...

Anyway, that was funny in a freaky way...

What else? Work... Like usual... Work for the sake of work and RM... Nothing more, nothing less... Cuti raya approved 5 days, family is going to Kay Hell, so no point going back. Just stay at home for five wonderful, joyous days and sleep... Waaaa... Mebbe I'll repaint the apartment... Who knows...

I seriously love this new labret piercing... Seriously... No pain... But the damn screw on head is so hard to screw on and unscrew off... Though the first on fell off into the sink... Made a few round and dove into the opening... Had to rush to my piercer to get another one and I bought spares... Hehehe... The piercing needle scared the shit out of me... I was like too scared until I forgot the original plan was to snap a video and post them here... Anyway, it was a good thing that I got scared and forgot to take videos... I dont wanna people to see me looking scared...

It was like I was sitting on a chair (We had to do it after the mall was closed for the day as- 1. My piercer doesn't want any distractions... 2. I dont want people I know to walk in and see me getting something hard and shiny shoved into my skin... Lain je bunyi...)

Where was I? yeah... Sitting... The she clamped my lower lips with a wicked looking clamper... The we sat and chat for a while (nervous ooo)... The she practised holding the needle, the she put it onto my skin... Practised summore (I intentionally asked her not to tell me when she was really gonna poke it through) The I felt like something blunt poking into my skin... the sharp pain and then that was it... Getting circumcised hurts even worst and it's not even ornamental (hahaha)...

Enuff already... I'm bored...

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I ATE CABBAGE JUST NOW... JUST CABBAGE... NOW MY MIND IS FARTING NON-STOP...

Have you ever experienced a day in your life, when you thought that you're hungry, you went on and ate something, but then you realised that you're not really hungry. Then you started doing something else and all of sudden you feel itchy at the back of your neck and when you scratched you realised that the itchiness is not really there but elsewhere and you ended up like a monkey scratching all over. Then you stopped.

Then you felt thirsty and made yourself something to drink, just as you wrere pouring hot water into you cup, you dont feel thirsty at all. Then you stripped and stepped into the shower and dreaded as the first touch of the cold water hit your back and you quickly stepped out, half-hearted dry yourself. You let your towell fall down and you just stood there. Naked in the middle of your house. You feel like breaking something but there's nothing left to break. You call someone for temporary relief from boredom/loneliness/restlessness/yearning/longing/desire/whatever by the time you finished keying in his/her number you had your second-thought and cut the call.

You do some house-cleaning only half-way then you realised that you're making more mess than cleaning. You put on some music but half-way the first verse you didn't like the song and you went through 180 gigs worth of music by pressing next, next, next until you get bored and made another appointment to your piercer to have yet another piercing, while your latest piercing is still bleeding.

I am now. This is the long version.

The short version is I'm feeling restless.

Going in Circles...

There's a saying I believe that goes something like "The feeding pasture is vast, keeping your eyes down will help you avoid the turds, but you will never find the gate. Do the opposite, you reach the gate faster but then you'll need to wash your shoes" or so...

I wonder where will I be at the exact moment, 1 year from now. I'll let you know next year.

You know how it feels like to want something or someone so bad, but you know that, that something or someone is bad for you. How you always ended up cursing at yourself everytime things fucked up between you and that someone but when you're alone, you started cursing yourself for letting that someone or something go? It's such a pretty shitty feeling.

I wish feeling are like some body parts that you can cut without side-effects. Like tonsils or appendix. Yeah. That'll be great.

Dont worry ( just yet), I'm way past mixing vodka with orange juice (more vodka than orange juice please) or burning myself with ciggies or stitching patterns onto my skin or piercing holes just for kicks... That's for pussies. I have bigger plan for myself.

Then there's the option of donating body parts... The problem is... They wont take living, breathing person. I guess I'm not quite ripe for the picking.

And this stress-without-a-real-cause is making me crazy. I think I am. I can be talkative to the extant that people around me will look at me sideways and think that I'm on drugs or stoned or drunk when I'm not...

Then I'd be so miserable beyond words. Somewhere between these two extremes, lies a gray spot where people sees me. Some kind of public perception of myself.

It's like having different people living inside the same body with unscheduled appearances of the wrong identity at the right time.

I'm old. But not that old. I challenge anyone to remember far, far back into their childhood. A journey to the back of ones' mind is like, well, a journey. It's like redecorating your wall and then realising you don't really fancy the end product, you tear things apart and start all over again. Not many people have the chance to do it, let alone to do it over and over again. Even too many layers of fresh paint will look ugly. Just like everything else in life, too much of something is never a good thing.

I am feeling strong and weak at the same time. Dead and alive. I'm halfway there. We all are.

If I can choose, to grow old and bitter, or die young and bitter... The choice is obvious... Long live teen suicide.

Life is just a bad horoscope that people don't care to read or misread.

Let's turn back time and reflect the signs. Let's go back to the time when I was younger and fell for that certain someone who happens to be a Pisces- a lying promiscuous ungrateful subperson. Aries- an unreliable charmer. Capricorn- Living on air, too dreamy, self-destructive, suicidal. Taurus- Kiss and tell to the whole world. Gemini- a sadist. Scorpio- nips at one end and stings on the other end. Cancer- might as well be alone, enough said. Leo- he/she doesn't need a lover, the new japanese sexbot will suit them fine. Virgo - Dont ever believe someone who claims he/she is (still) a virgin. Sagittaurus - a tease, all talk and no play. Aquarius - boring. Libra - So and so, but plain to look at, let alone to talk about.

So there, I've ultimately revealed that I've screwed at least 12 people. A complete set of the horoscope.

Am I happy with that? Hell no... But in the search for the right person, one can be forgiven to have some fun with all the wrong ones. Next, I think I''ll be taking a look (and then some) at the chinese horoscope.

As I said, my car, my dick, my life, my blog, my fuckin business.

I Dig This...

"I am not the fairest flower in the garden, nor am I a thorn in any man's path...People may think well or ill of me as they please: I act as my nature prompts me."


[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!



[ANNOUNCER]

And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

(4X)



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it



[VELMA]

I betcha you would have done the same!



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

(2X)



[LIZ (Spoken)]

You know how people

have these little habits

That get you down. Like Bernie.

Bernie like to chew gum.

No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day,

And I am really irritated, and

looking for a little sympathy

and there's Bernie layin'

on the couch, drinkin' a beer

and chewin'. No, not chewin'.

Poppin'. So, I said to him,

I said, "You pop that

gum one more time..."

and he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall

and I fired two warning shots...

...into his head.



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would

Have dome the same!



[ANNIE (Spoken)]

I met Ezekiel Young from

Salt Lake city about two years ago

and he told me he was single

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd

fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.

And then I found out,

"Single" he told me?

Single, my ass. Not only

was he married

...oh, no, he had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know. So that

night, when he came home, I fixed him

his drink as usual.

You know, some guys just can't hold

their arsenic.



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!



[JUNE (Spoken)]

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen

carvin' up the chicken for dinner,

minding my own business,

and in storms my husband Wilbur,

in a jealous rage.

"You been screwin' the milkman,"

he says. He was crazy

and he kept screamin',

"you been screwin the milkman."

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times!



[ALL]

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!



[HUNYAK (Spoken in Hungarian)]

Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg

lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan

vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja

Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam

a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...



[JUNE (Spoken)]

Yeah, but di you do it?



[HUNYAK]

UH UH, not guilty!



[VELMA]

My sister, Veronica and

I did this double act

and my husband, Charlie,

used to travel round with us.

Now, for the last number in our act,

we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row

One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles,

back flips,flip flops, one right after the other.

So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and

we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.

I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and

Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle.

Well, I was in such a state of shock,

I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later,

when I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew they were dead.



[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming all along

[GIRLS]

They had it coming all along

[VELMA]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

She didn't do it

[VELMA]

But if I done it

[GIRLS]

But if she done it

[VELMA]

How could you tell me that I was wrong?



[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They took a flower

[VELMA]

All along

[GIRLS]

In its prime

[VELMA]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

And then they used it

[VELMA]

But if I'd done it,

How could you tell me that I was wrong?



[MONA(Spoken)]

I loved Al Lipschitz

more than I can possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy...

sensitive... a painter.

But he was always trying

to find himself.

He'd go out every night

looking for himself

and on the way

he found Ruth,

Gladys,

Rosemary and Irving.

I guess you can say we broke

up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive

and I saw him dead.



[ALL]

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum



[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

All along

[Group 2]

All along

[Group 1]

'Cause if they used us

[Group 2]

'Cause if they used us

[Group 1]

And they abused us

[Group 2]

And they abused us

[ALL]

How could you tell us that we were wrong?



[Group 1]

He had it coming

[Group 2]

He had it coming

[Group 1]

He only had himself to blame.

[Group 2]

He only had himself to blame.

[Group 1]

If you'd have been there

[Group 2]

If you'd have been there

[Group 1]

If you'd have seen it

[Group 2]

If you'd have seen it

[ALL]

I betcha you would have done the same!



[LIZ (Spoken)]

You pop that gum one more time!

[ANNIE (spoken)]

Single my ass.

[JUNE (Spoken)]

Ten times!

[HUNYAK (Spoken)]

Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.

[VELMA (Spoken)]

Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

[MONA (Spoken)]

Artistic differences.



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

What's New...

I miss you

So much

I miss you in the morning

How hard it was to get you out of bed

Then you'd curl up on the sofa and fell asleep again.

I miss your sleepy face in the morning.

I miss boiling you hot water in the morning for your bath.

I miss making breakfast for you.

How you'd shiver when you stepped out from the shower...

Then I miss you how you'd rush to finish your breakfast

and then you'd rush out the door to work and I'd close the door behind you.

I'd be alone for a while.

I'd go to work but I'd be thinking of you every five minutes.

You'd send me messages.

Then I'd drive back home to you.

I miss the look you'd give me when you open the door.

I miss the way you walk.

I miss the way you'd hog the pillows and the blanket while we were watching tv.

I miss watching you watching tv.

I miss you sitting infront of my computer.

I miss all the stupid videos you watch on youtube and how you'd force me to watch them.

I miss all the crappy love songs you'd ask me to put into you I-pod.

I miss our little quarrels.

I miss our break-ups.

I miss buying you your favorite chocolate.

I miss our make-ups.

I miss how you'd point your long fingers at me.

I miss the crazy shuffle dance you'd make.

I miss how you'd make me join you.

I miss you standing infront of my tv with the remote in one hand.

I miss your smile and most of all I miss your silly laughter.

I miss how you'd nag to me to do things.

I miss how you'd take my news materials and pretend to be a newsreader.

I miss your little stories,

How you'd look annoyed if I wasn't paying any attention to you.

I miss driving you around.

I miss how we'd pretend not to know one another in public.

I miss watching you while you eat your dinner and cleaning up afterwards.

I miss picking up your clothes on the floor.

I miss doing laundry for you.

I miss ironing your shirt and hanging them.

I miss how you'd pretend to be nice just to ask me to get you something.

I miss you sleeping on my couch while I do my work.

I miss looking at you while you hog my pillows.

I miss carrying you to bed

How your hands would fall down while I'm carrying you.

I miss covering you up in the blanket and watching you curl up inside.

I miss the little talks we had in the dark.

I miss how you'd fall asleep so fast then leaving me talking to myself.

I miss your cute snores.

They used to bother me so much,

I miss clapping so loud when you snore just to make you stop

I guess up till now,

You never knew what woke you up.

I miss walking out on you when you sleep to finish my work.

I miss checking out on you while you sleep,

Just to see if the blankie came off,

They always do.

I miss prying the pillows from you and the blankie too.

I miss being pushed to the edge of the bed.

I miss you in my life, my house, my car.

They seems so empty without you.

I'm so empty without you.

I miss apologizing for all the things I've done,

Things I should've done.

I miss you.

My world is bleak without you in it.

It's BLOOMING AND SMELLED SCARY

Hoya from Durian Perangin...

Light pink Hoya (Note the top left flower with 4 petals)

Dischidia sp?

I'm an ISFP

I'm an Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving Person! Wahaha... That's a mouthful... Rewind a few hours back... After tearing my house into a wreck (it was a wreck before i did it but 'twas a wreck on a smaller scale)... I took a personality test! It's official... I'm an ISFP...



Read!



ISFPs are the first to hear the different drummer. Many eagerly plunge into new fashions, avant garde experiences, 'hip' trends--some even setting the trends.


More in touch with the reality of their senses than their INFP counterparts, ISFPs live in the here and now. Their impulses yearn to be free, and are often loosed when others least expect it.



The ISFP who continually represses these impulses feels 'dead inside' and may eventually cut and run. (One ISFP friend has become nonambulatory within the past few years. He will still, on impulse, leave home in the middle of the night and go to Las Vegas or wherever, regardless of the difficulties of his physical condition.)


ISFPs may be quite charming and ingratiating on first acquaintance, flowing with compliments which may (or may not) be deserved.



On other occasions, the same individual may be aloof and detached. Some ISFP males are fiercely competitive, especially in sport or table games, and may have great difficulty losing.



This competitive nature, also seen in other SP types, sometimes fosters 'lucky,' 'gut' feelings and a willingness to take risks.


Organized education is difficult for the majority of ISFPs, and many drop out before finishing secondary education. Their interest can be held better through experiential learning, at which many excel.



ISFPs will practice playing an instrument or honing a favored skill for hours on end, not so much as practice as for the joy of the experience.


Differential diagnosis:
ISFPs are less fantasy-oriented than INFPs. These types are often confused, however, INFPs lean strongly to daydreams, poetry, prose and more philosophical pursuits; ISFPs often live out 'id' experiences rather than writing or even talking about them.


ISFJs are driven by the conventional, by 'should's and 'ought's; ISFPs internalize their Feeling (by nature a judging function) which bursts out spontaneously and leaves as quickly and mysteriously as it came.


Because of these variant expressions of Feeling judgement, ISFPs are sometimes confused with ESFJs, but keep themselves more aloof, more often concealing the feelings that ESFJs are so apt to expose.


ESFPs express thoughts more readily (and, in the main, skillfully). ISFPs can and do perform admirably in the spotlight, but generally have little to say about the performance. For example, few ISFPs would be disc-jockeys, a field strongly represented by ES_Ps.


Functional Analysis:


Introverted Feeling
Feeling, unbridled by the external forces of society and substance, is the dominant function. ISFPs spontaneously develop their own codes and credos, about which they are quite sober and intense. ISFPs are questors, driven to find the pure and ideal, as personally and individually defined. Feeling may temporarily turn outward, but cannot be long sustained beyond its cloistered home.


If the individual has values greater than herself, feeling may express itself in valiant acts of selflessness. Turned in upon self, however, it becomes an unscrupulous, capricious enigma, capable even of heinous acts of deception and treachery.


Extraverted Sensing
ISFPs keep a finger on the pulse of here and now. They are more adept at doing than considering, at acting than reflecting, at tasting than wondering. As do most SPs, ISFPs keenly sense color, sound, texture, and movement. It is not unusual for ISFPs to excel in sensory, motor, or kinesthetic abilities.


ISFPs cherish their impulses. Some of the most beautiful, graceful, and artistic performances are the result of this drive for physical, sensate expression.


Introverted iNtuition
Tertiary intuition works best in the background of the ISFP's inner world. Perhaps this is the source of the "gut feeling" SPs consult in matters of chance. However "lucky" the ISFP may be, intuition as a means of communication is a poor servant, evidenced in spoonerisms, and non sequiturs and mixed metaphors.


Extraverted Thinking
The ISFP may employ Extraverted Thinking in external situations requiring closure. As is the case with inferior functions, such Thinking behaves in an all or nothing manner. Thus, as with other FP types, the ISFP's Extraverted Thinking is at risk for a lack of context and proportion.

In most cases, persons of this type enjoy greater facility operating in the open-ended style of sensing, implying the opinions of feeling values in the indirect fashion characteristic of introverted functions.

Famous ISFPs:

Marie AntoinetteAuguste Rodin (executed by beheading if I'm not mistaken...)

U.S. Presidents

Ulysses S. Grant
Millard Fillmore, "The American Louis Philippe"
Warren G. Harding

Fred Astaire
Marilyn Monroe (Dead)
Liberace (Very Gay)
Elizabeth Taylor
Yogi Berra, professional baseball player ("It's deja vu all over again.")
Dan Rather
Orrin Hatch, U.S. Senator
Ervin "Magic" Johnson, NBA basketball star
Patrick Duffey
Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President, 1988-1992
Paul McCartney
Christopher Reeve
Michael Jackson(OH TIDAK!!!)
Kevin Costner
Greg Louganis, U.S. Olympic gold medalist(Gay- Died in AIDS related problems)
Brooke Shields
Britney Spears(Bisexual... GASP!!!)
John Travolta
Ashton Kutcher(Anak ikan Demi Moore)
Donald Trump (Damn kaya)

Hmmm...

Finished the first half of my workload... Time to Celebrate...

As per title!

Anyway, things that happened to me during my idle mode...

Got another nose piercing... Got my nips pierced as well... I DIY-ed.

Left nose piercing got cartilage growing inside... Dealt with that during my free time.

My nose picked a fight with a pair of scisors, the scisors fought dirty, as you can see, considerable amount of blood was shed. The scisors got thrown out from open window from 6th floor...

Abang Dani called to tell me he's leaving me... I know it sounds gay... BUT, ye la... He's leaving Langkawi maaa moving on to Lotus Cars... Some managerial post in Kay Hell... Ai...

What else...

I didn't get the job... Sighs... But I'm doing Laman Padi thingy on the 23rd. Think I'm renting a room around there tomorrow because the function starts at 9... Meaning I'll have to be there 8.30 am, meaning I need to leave the nest at about 8.00am, meaning I need to get up at 7.00, meaning... AH... Such a meaningful sentence...

Money coming in 28th.

A rehearsal on that day and another function on 29th! HM Aerospace Graduation Batch 12. Will be wearing Pilot Uniform this time around... Wahahaha...

Really wanna go out from the island for a while. Just go some where... Losing weight summore but face makin tembam... Isk! I guess the fat just shifted position...

The nest needs cleaning... Again!

Missing some one painfully at the moment... There's never a day that I didn't think about this person just before I go to bed, when I wake up, I'll think of this person too... But I guess it's just me... 3 months now... Sighs...

Fish doing OK, snake got down with mouth-rot... Sighs...

Will not be going back to suprise Shah on his wedding. Thing changed. Juliana bought a corset in Australia for (gasps) RM600 just to wear with the Kebaya... Ju!!! Masuk meminang I cepat!!!

Am waiting to go out with Abang Dani later... Lepak2 before he leaves Langkawi...

My latest obsession- Hoya from Durian Perangin put out floret buds... YAY! I know the plant looks fugly to most... Hoya leaves, being next to indestructable, can last long... So lichen and moss can grow on the leaves... Very easy to grow too... U have to be radioactive to kill a hoya!

A sneaky preview of the new BUTT (bud lah!)

Hoya is unique because they will flower again and again on the same flower stalk... The stalk willcontinue to grow longer each time meaning longer flower stalk= more flower... Am excited! Can't wait to see what Hoya is this...

I booked the studio again on Sunday, 6am.

What can I say?

I'm feeling masochistic nowdays... Kawan2 sila beri support!

Boring Sunday...

Pix from the Durian Perangin trip where Cik CT Hanim was visually sexually assaulted by a mat salleh father-son duo... Lucky her...

A trip to Lubuk Semilang. Another Hoya hunting trip alone... Damn white ulat bulu (caterpillars) falling down from trees and hiding among roots and branches almost gave me multiple orgasms (heart-attack!!!). They're like pussycat!!! Rich hair growth... White... And moving like someone who really needed to pee so badly... Damn scary! Geli Pakcik!

Alocasia denudata?

Nice place... Too bad... Nothing is being done here... I learned that only 2 houses are in operation... Got the contact number of the manager... Mebbe I'll think of sumthing crazy to do here...

Nice vines... Nice woody sounds so vulgar...

A Hoya with patterns on its' leaves... Hehehe... I asked for permission to sample some... From the authorities and also from the spirits... Ngeee... Takmau la if later ada sora pompuan dok nyanyi lagu Pulangkanlah kat tingkap bilik gue... Nggak mao lho... Seram banget... Mati dech...

Me with my new piercing... I look like a goldfish... A friggin goldfish!

Today I finally came to my senses and realised that ms. Sufina is an evil promoter of shops that she doesn't own... My most expensive buys happened with her... Today i bought these lovelies Vietnamese Baju with Dragon pattern... Wakaka... Baju Dinner...

Me in my comot but comel mode...

With a heavy heart I need to tell my dear readers and all you cyber voyeurs out there... I'll be in my idle mode from now on...

Until I can finish my work... Been postponing my work for 3 months now... Now that I'm me again... Haven't been myself all this while...

I think I need to finish my work and settle outstanding workloads. Things need to be done...

1. 10 viewpoints to be aired on 20th this month...

2. Merdeka programs...

3. Ramadhan programs...

4. Anything else they ask me to do, I'll do...

So in other words, to put it bluntly- I'm not fucking posting anything until I fucking finish my fucking shits... :D

The fucking End for now....

Enough is Enough

Enough said, I'll ignore everything unpleasant in my life from now on.

The day before yesterday I was hard hit by boredom. So I tried sending some sms asking people to get adventerous with me. No reply. Typical.

Then I decided, hey, I can do what I want alone. Heck, I can even have sex with myself if I want. Hehehe... Asexually... Eeee...

Anyway, I drove up all the way to Durian Perangin for a solo session of Plant Raid! This time my target is Hoya. Read online that some foreigner managed to smuggle out specimens of Hoya Lacunosa "Durian Perangin, Langkawi" out of Malaysia.

Hmm... Tempting...

So I went... Armed with a pair of scisors, torchlight (just in case I got crazy and decided to stay until later for night fishing) inside my old bag.

On the way up, I strained my eyes to see Hoya. But no Hoya. I almost slipped on the way up because the stone stairs became a mini waterfall. Now I know why people call it a waterfall... It's slippery when when with water and if you're not careful, you'll fall. Right?

BY THE WAY, I ONLY PICK UP PLANTS THAT WERE KNOCKED DOWN FROM THE TREES BY STRONG WIND. I DID NOT, I REPEAT I DID NOT PLUCK THEM FROM WHERE THEY'RE GROWING.

At 6pm and no one in sight... I reached the top alone. Nobody but myself. Wanted to pee so bad, but was affraid of hidden cameras. Then on as I was about to give up... I saw a clump of something hangin on a low branch which upon closer inspection HOYA! A small leaved species of either Hoya or Dischidia... Hmm... Donwanna talk long-long... Pix of the small leaved specie

The leaves on this specie is approx. 1 inch long and half wide. As you can (barely) see, there are 2 different colored leaves. 1 is dark green and bumpy, while there other 1 is smooth and yellow. I noticed that there's 1 flower stalk here.

Then on the way down, more of the specie can be seen and then, there's something else hanging slightly above the Hoya sp 1... That plant!

Can anyone ID this for me?

Then more Hoya...

I think this is the H. lacunosa (Durian Perangin, Langkawi). Longest leave is about 3 inches ++, width at its' widest is about 1.5 inches ++, My estimate... I'm not vewy good at estimating stuffs in inches... I always exagerrate... Hehehe...

And another 1...

And another 1...

Well, this one and the one before it is almost the same. Same yellowish leave color, but compared side to side, the leaves does look different in shape. One is slightly more elongated.

And of course I'd have another try of Dischidia imbricata. I killed the one I collected earlier by "planting" it in soil... Now I'm smarter... I tied them up to a piece of wood, gave me a woody in the process... I am so into BDSM nowdays.

Return of the MAC

Lesson learned yesterday.

You treat people like shit, they'll treat you nicely (doesn't matter if they pretended to do so in your presence... It's cool as long as they do it). Treat people nicely, people will treat you like shit.

BTW... Good news turned out to be a temporary one. Just as I expected.

Typically predictable.

Hyper-tension is getting worst. My doc insisted anti-depressant pills which apart from making me un-depressed (if there is such thing) will also make me...

1. Make a cannon out of my butt... A bad case of the princess Diarrhea.

2. Make me all woozy and sleepy.

3. Make me dumb for as long as I'm taking those damned pills.

4. Will take me off my job (unfortunately my only source of income for now... Need to get the body ready for some prostituting job on the side... Hehehe) for just about a month or two...

So... Should I?

Or should I just bear the nagging headache behind my ears everytime some fookers annoy me with something?

Dono lah...

Help me! My butt is like shrinking and fast... Just the other day I bought some nice butt-hugging slack pants... Been hanging on my dresser since then, so I pulled out the labels and wore them to the slaving den (opis ler), guess what... They didn't fit like when I bought them! Dang... Them low quality pants expanded even without washing...

Hehehe... Next month I'll buy 2-3 sizes smaller...

I think at the rate of my body weight is falling, by next year, I'll be just groin, legs and chest with nothing in between...

My motivational quote to lose weight fast is "Stick figure is extremely attractive, fat polar bear is NOT!". Enuff said.

Hell my tendency to cut stuffs made Chef out of me.

I slept right after work until almost midnight. Woke up hungry and I kept hearing dat darn song in my mind just now... Return of the Mac... Return of the Mac...

So I surrendered myself to the song and I made another masterpiece of Baked Macarony.

Yeap... Return of the Mac(arony Bakaq)! Muahahahaha...

Pix...

Saute these...

With this... While doing it...

Beat this with a lil bit of salt and pepper.

Tips- think of all the failed relationship you've had over the years. I over did it. The eggs turned out to be fluffy merengue-like. Hehehe...

Add this...

And this...

And this...

By the way, this is the smart way in making breadcrumbs (crackercrumbs)... Use unsalted crackers, smash em right there in their packaging... Again, old long dead love memories will help.

Before baking...

After baking...

First cut is the deepest... Katanya...

Eat this with chilli sauce! Nyum~!

Muka kenyang!