My new year resolution...

2008. Just another year.

Tried to be good this (last?) year, but that didn't work. It sorta, kinda, fucked me up really good. But that's life.

When you put other peoples' needs and feelings before your own, trying to please everybody. That means that.

You've pleased everyone but yourself.

So come 2009...

This year is about me. I'm gonna try everything at least once. I'm gonna be bad.

I'm gonna be me.

Happy new year everybody...

Flat-Lined, Then Came Back... Partially...

_________________. . . . . . . . .



I'm digging this











Lyrics | Within Temptation - Julian (i’d give my heart) lyrics

Of lights out, closed eyes and passed out...

Had the wierdest dream last night.

Dreamed of landslides, catching rare fish, huge rocks falling from the sky, damn cruel human-looking aliens in spaceships shooting down innocent by-stander, hell they even shot a baby.

I guess dreams are just dreams. Night time entertainment, that's all, and that last nights' dream was the unrated version.

What's new? I used to be depressed. Now I'm still depressed AND on medication. That's a good improvement.

I want out. Any angel of mercy out there?

If You Forget Me...

Well, now if little by little you stop loving me,I shall stop loving you, little by little.

If suddenly you forget me,do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you.

... Year End Crisis...

It's time. Again. Time to rethink about everything. Time to re-evaluate. Time to look again and see.

A few more weeks to a brand new year.

All I can say is, this year sucks. Same like last year and the year before.

Made a few friends. Made a few enemies.

As the year draws closer and closer to its end, my patience is drawing shorter and shorter. It's like this mind is acting on time-specific-event basis.

Am feeling suicidal, but that's nothing new.

Am here but longs to be else where. I'd feel the same from where I'm about to go. I'm sure.

Happy New Year...

I'm digging this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89V7hvEmSD8

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home
Aahh, the sun is blindingI stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safeUp high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No painInsideYou're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
When I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"
Aahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe Up high
Nothing can touch meBut why do I feel this party's over?No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm comin' down
Comin' down
Comin' down
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Looking for myself.. Sober

Comin' down
Comin' down
Comin' down
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Spinnin' round
Looking for myself..
Sober

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good,
'till it goes bad

Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry
Never again
Broken down in agony
And just trying to find a friend

I'm safe Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm safeUp high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside

You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?
How do I feel this good sober?

Making My Life Real

I purposely hurt myself just to remind myself that this, all of this is real.

You know when you're drunk, you tend to do silly stuff. I'm always drunk, with out booze.

After a while, trying to adjust and adapt. After many, many crazy sleepless nights, the cold-turkey method of getting over you, now you're back.

I dont know if I should be happy or pissed off.

I want you back. I dont want you back. Iwant you like the first time I saw you. I dont want you looking the day you left me.

This is all so confusing.

Maybe another wound should do the trick.

I think it's nice to have someone to come home to. To hold. To love. The begining was nice. The ending...

Been Busy Doing Nothing... :B

What I did today...

Woke up late... Cos slept late... Did nothing with no one... Hehehehe... Can't remember actually...

Did Laundry...

Kemas umah...

Called Mr Josh to come and do my internet wiring... Asked him to take my other PCs for repair...

Fetched Kak CT from work. Ate my heart out while having breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper sumwhere... Temptations!!! Arghhh!!! Cannot tahan d...

Bought 6 baby bichir...

Saw Piena alone... Sat with her... Later AA joined us... Drove home... Picked a fight with my pc...

I think the world will be a better place for me IF... *

*refer above pix.