Not Meant to be the Main Character.

Disclaimer: these are my thoughts. It may or may not be as it happens, more likely the versions that I remember. I might come  back and change parts of it. So here goes... 

***

Kinda sucks when you know and expect things to fuck up along the way.

I remember when I was young, I read a book about Scandals of the Rich and Famous. King Edward II. If i remember correctly, I think he indulged in men and then fell out of power. He was then tortured and killed by having a red hot poker shoved into his anus. 

I cringed at the though of having the part that gives you pleasure being burned with red hot metal. Imagine that. 

Fast forward many many years in the future...

After bleeding in a toilet after watching a very long movie. I was diagnosed with Anal squamous cell carcinoma (SCC) stage 3, which feels like being anally violated by someone that you don't like without your consent, without lube, until you bleed, 24-7. It's painful to sit, stand still, lie down, walk and squat and the pain gets worst at night. Just imagine going to work, having to cope with the feeling of being brutally assaulted in the butt while working. It hurts. Physically and mentally. Even the biopsy hurts like a bitch. Imagine feeling the cut after being locally anaesthetised. Imagine feeling the warm blood flowing on your buttcheek while the nurses frantically wipe the blood off. Imagine feeling the stabbing of the needle as the doctor did his best to stitch me back up. The stitching didn't hurt at all but the cutting did. 

I went for the recommended treatment. I had to beg for my public service privilege and the privilege came very late. The doctor recommended 2 cycles of  5 days of Chemotherapy and 25 radiotherapy sessions. I went for the more expensive procedure called CIGMIT - Centre for Image Guided and Minimally Invasive Therapy according to the website, the radiotherapy centre utilizes a Novalis TX radiosurgery machine to provide non-invasive treatment targeting smaller tumours or to complement chemotherapy and/or surgery. Using a multi-directional high-energy beam, cancerous cells can be eliminated while sparing healthy cells.

If the cancer is painful enough, the treatment itself was very long as I had to be warded for the 5 days treatment (not including the 2 extra nights to put in the needle). 

The recovering from the treatment... Well, that's another story...