I have made peace with myself.

Disclaimer: these are my thoughts. It may or may not be as it happens, more likely the versions that I remember. I might come back and change parts of it. So here goes... 

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I have made peace with myself.

It was hard to be asked to make a life changing decision that may or may not produce the best result.

The Surgery Doctor wanted to "remove my my anus, sew it shut, remove part of my bowel and open up a hole on my abdomen and install a stoma bag". That sounded alot. And I forgot to mention that this is permenant and I will have to take care of it and there will always be discomfort and a chance for infection.

After a long discussion with myself. I think I'll take my chances. I said no.