Talking Metaphors

Imagine a ship sailing in a sea full of trinkets...

The sailor/captain collects those on his journey...

Then he realised that his ship is full and he risks sinking. The question- should he be a romantic freak and hold on to everything dear to him? Or... Should he be cruel and throw away things that doesn't mean too much for him? BTW... I added one more trinket to my collection... I dont know how to swim...

I'm Feeling Off...

I'm feeling off... A bit... OK... Alot!

This usually happens to me when there's a celebration around the corner... Birthdays... Festivities... It's normal for me but is that normal?

So what's new... Lost almost 10kgs during the fasting month. Hopefully to lose summore.

I have this silly infatuation for married people. I know it's bad. It's very bad but I can't help myself. I turn to mush with these people... Yes, that means more than one married person. Hehehe...

Crazy stuff I've done these past few weeks since I last posted, there are many, but a few worth mentioning. I went on a dare... A crazy dare. It was crazy, it was fun.

Pierced my labret (lower lips la). It was scary but not painful at all. I can do it everyday until I ran out of lower lip area to pierce.

I think I've said enough... Pix!

Me being naughty.

Another one...

Opss... Been Bad... Didn't Mean to Do It...

Been bitter at someone lately... You know who you are... I think it's better not talking about "it" rather than talking about "it" and wait for things to blow out of hand. So we had fun together. We tried, things didn't work out. That's it.

Two bad relationship in one year... That's a new record even by my standard. I mean the first one was a mistake. The second one, well, a rebound.

So after a long long long time... Someone finally (in a cute way)ask me out on a date... I was like (raising my depressed emotionally unstable face and went like WHAT?!)but anyway I decided to play along and see what it feels like to go on a traditional date... Hehehe...

Traditional? I've never been traditional all my life... I'm a left-handed guy... I only eat with spoon... No fork oso can eat... I don't know how to tie kain pelikat and sampin... What else? I pee standing up (normal for a guy, a big no no for traditional guy and of course girls) I can go on and on listing just how untraditional I am.

But that's not my point.

Anyway I went out on a date. Yeah... But it's not my point to let people know that I got lucky or anything... It's funny when you expect so much from someone or something... Things always magically screw up on you... Then when you don't expect anything from someone... Everything turned out so beautiful and you both ended up having a great time.

It's a very much a welcomed change from my usual daily mundane life. Whatever that means. You see lately my life is like in either "depressed mode" or "more depressed than usual mode".

Small things can be very annoying... Small things can be wonderful... Small things can be painful... It's a whole universe that can be found in small things... A dish is just a dish but the condiment (usually consists of small things) that makes the dish memorable...

I think I'll stop typing now... Elizabeth Taylor once said that once you show people everything, you have nothing else to show... Hehehe... Right on...

Rite... Now Moving on... Next Dumb Thing to Do Please...

I have 7 piercings... Well two healed, but really, I pierced 7 times at seven different places. So that means another five to go... But wait... The last bit is supposed to be "holed" on my birthday. I'll do it myself... Ain't showing people my weiner except for the funnest thing to do when people show their weiner to other people, rite? Speaking of which... I had witness the stupidest/funniest thing earlier today...

I'm on my usual crash diet... Which is in fact useless because yesterday before I squeezed all of my 6 pairs of Baju Melayu into my bag to send them to the laundry, I tried the latest one... The second time I tried it on, the first one was infront of my mom back in errr... January? February? Back then it was OK on me... So as I was saying, I tried... And... Dang... I was fat back then... So basically... Losing summore weight will mean I'll have to tie a rubber band to the side of my pants to keep them on...

So in order not to look like a cow, or to put it in a polite way, not to be a cow-sized people person, I had to eat like a cow... I mean first day only fruits (monkey-diet), second day only vegetables (cow diet), Third day fruits and vegetable (both monkey and cow diet), fourth day banana and milk (errr... Baby diet? Makes one pass pale shit, seriously... Shit looks even more shittier without the shitty hue of dark brown), fifth day (hell in the kitchen- tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes and more friggin tomatoes), Sixth day beef/rice with vegetables, last day beef/rice, vegetables and fruit juice...

So I went on a little shopping at Langkawi Parade... I parked my car and headed to the loo (the darn diet demands at least 16 glasses of plain water mind you, my kidneys are cursing me at the moment) so as I was peeing while holding the damn door closed (no selak) I overheard a conversation between a little kid (boy, about 5-6 years old) and his older relative (a young looking father or a brother in late 20s' early 30s')

So both of them were peeing at the urinator, both were laughing and the kid was asking to have a peek at the brothers'/fathers' "you know what" la...

And when I came out from the cubicle I saw the kids was actually looking at the damn thing (smack forehead kuat2 dalam hati)...

Anyway, that was funny in a freaky way...

What else? Work... Like usual... Work for the sake of work and RM... Nothing more, nothing less... Cuti raya approved 5 days, family is going to Kay Hell, so no point going back. Just stay at home for five wonderful, joyous days and sleep... Waaaa... Mebbe I'll repaint the apartment... Who knows...

I seriously love this new labret piercing... Seriously... No pain... But the damn screw on head is so hard to screw on and unscrew off... Though the first on fell off into the sink... Made a few round and dove into the opening... Had to rush to my piercer to get another one and I bought spares... Hehehe... The piercing needle scared the shit out of me... I was like too scared until I forgot the original plan was to snap a video and post them here... Anyway, it was a good thing that I got scared and forgot to take videos... I dont wanna people to see me looking scared...

It was like I was sitting on a chair (We had to do it after the mall was closed for the day as- 1. My piercer doesn't want any distractions... 2. I dont want people I know to walk in and see me getting something hard and shiny shoved into my skin... Lain je bunyi...)

Where was I? yeah... Sitting... The she clamped my lower lips with a wicked looking clamper... The we sat and chat for a while (nervous ooo)... The she practised holding the needle, the she put it onto my skin... Practised summore (I intentionally asked her not to tell me when she was really gonna poke it through) The I felt like something blunt poking into my skin... the sharp pain and then that was it... Getting circumcised hurts even worst and it's not even ornamental (hahaha)...

Enuff already... I'm bored...

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I ATE CABBAGE JUST NOW... JUST CABBAGE... NOW MY MIND IS FARTING NON-STOP...

Have you ever experienced a day in your life, when you thought that you're hungry, you went on and ate something, but then you realised that you're not really hungry. Then you started doing something else and all of sudden you feel itchy at the back of your neck and when you scratched you realised that the itchiness is not really there but elsewhere and you ended up like a monkey scratching all over. Then you stopped.

Then you felt thirsty and made yourself something to drink, just as you wrere pouring hot water into you cup, you dont feel thirsty at all. Then you stripped and stepped into the shower and dreaded as the first touch of the cold water hit your back and you quickly stepped out, half-hearted dry yourself. You let your towell fall down and you just stood there. Naked in the middle of your house. You feel like breaking something but there's nothing left to break. You call someone for temporary relief from boredom/loneliness/restlessness/yearning/longing/desire/whatever by the time you finished keying in his/her number you had your second-thought and cut the call.

You do some house-cleaning only half-way then you realised that you're making more mess than cleaning. You put on some music but half-way the first verse you didn't like the song and you went through 180 gigs worth of music by pressing next, next, next until you get bored and made another appointment to your piercer to have yet another piercing, while your latest piercing is still bleeding.

I am now. This is the long version.

The short version is I'm feeling restless.

Going in Circles...

There's a saying I believe that goes something like "The feeding pasture is vast, keeping your eyes down will help you avoid the turds, but you will never find the gate. Do the opposite, you reach the gate faster but then you'll need to wash your shoes" or so...

I wonder where will I be at the exact moment, 1 year from now. I'll let you know next year.

You know how it feels like to want something or someone so bad, but you know that, that something or someone is bad for you. How you always ended up cursing at yourself everytime things fucked up between you and that someone but when you're alone, you started cursing yourself for letting that someone or something go? It's such a pretty shitty feeling.

I wish feeling are like some body parts that you can cut without side-effects. Like tonsils or appendix. Yeah. That'll be great.

Dont worry ( just yet), I'm way past mixing vodka with orange juice (more vodka than orange juice please) or burning myself with ciggies or stitching patterns onto my skin or piercing holes just for kicks... That's for pussies. I have bigger plan for myself.

Then there's the option of donating body parts... The problem is... They wont take living, breathing person. I guess I'm not quite ripe for the picking.

And this stress-without-a-real-cause is making me crazy. I think I am. I can be talkative to the extant that people around me will look at me sideways and think that I'm on drugs or stoned or drunk when I'm not...

Then I'd be so miserable beyond words. Somewhere between these two extremes, lies a gray spot where people sees me. Some kind of public perception of myself.

It's like having different people living inside the same body with unscheduled appearances of the wrong identity at the right time.

I'm old. But not that old. I challenge anyone to remember far, far back into their childhood. A journey to the back of ones' mind is like, well, a journey. It's like redecorating your wall and then realising you don't really fancy the end product, you tear things apart and start all over again. Not many people have the chance to do it, let alone to do it over and over again. Even too many layers of fresh paint will look ugly. Just like everything else in life, too much of something is never a good thing.

I am feeling strong and weak at the same time. Dead and alive. I'm halfway there. We all are.

If I can choose, to grow old and bitter, or die young and bitter... The choice is obvious... Long live teen suicide.

Life is just a bad horoscope that people don't care to read or misread.

Let's turn back time and reflect the signs. Let's go back to the time when I was younger and fell for that certain someone who happens to be a Pisces- a lying promiscuous ungrateful subperson. Aries- an unreliable charmer. Capricorn- Living on air, too dreamy, self-destructive, suicidal. Taurus- Kiss and tell to the whole world. Gemini- a sadist. Scorpio- nips at one end and stings on the other end. Cancer- might as well be alone, enough said. Leo- he/she doesn't need a lover, the new japanese sexbot will suit them fine. Virgo - Dont ever believe someone who claims he/she is (still) a virgin. Sagittaurus - a tease, all talk and no play. Aquarius - boring. Libra - So and so, but plain to look at, let alone to talk about.

So there, I've ultimately revealed that I've screwed at least 12 people. A complete set of the horoscope.

Am I happy with that? Hell no... But in the search for the right person, one can be forgiven to have some fun with all the wrong ones. Next, I think I''ll be taking a look (and then some) at the chinese horoscope.

As I said, my car, my dick, my life, my blog, my fuckin business.

I Dig This...

"I am not the fairest flower in the garden, nor am I a thorn in any man's path...People may think well or ill of me as they please: I act as my nature prompts me."


[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!



[ANNOUNCER]

And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

(4X)



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it



[VELMA]

I betcha you would have done the same!



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

(2X)



[LIZ (Spoken)]

You know how people

have these little habits

That get you down. Like Bernie.

Bernie like to chew gum.

No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day,

And I am really irritated, and

looking for a little sympathy

and there's Bernie layin'

on the couch, drinkin' a beer

and chewin'. No, not chewin'.

Poppin'. So, I said to him,

I said, "You pop that

gum one more time..."

and he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall

and I fired two warning shots...

...into his head.



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would

Have dome the same!



[ANNIE (Spoken)]

I met Ezekiel Young from

Salt Lake city about two years ago

and he told me he was single

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd

fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.

And then I found out,

"Single" he told me?

Single, my ass. Not only

was he married

...oh, no, he had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know. So that

night, when he came home, I fixed him

his drink as usual.

You know, some guys just can't hold

their arsenic.



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!



[JUNE (Spoken)]

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen

carvin' up the chicken for dinner,

minding my own business,

and in storms my husband Wilbur,

in a jealous rage.

"You been screwin' the milkman,"

he says. He was crazy

and he kept screamin',

"you been screwin the milkman."

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times!



[ALL]

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!



[HUNYAK (Spoken in Hungarian)]

Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg

lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan

vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja

Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam

a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...



[JUNE (Spoken)]

Yeah, but di you do it?



[HUNYAK]

UH UH, not guilty!



[VELMA]

My sister, Veronica and

I did this double act

and my husband, Charlie,

used to travel round with us.

Now, for the last number in our act,

we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row

One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles,

back flips,flip flops, one right after the other.

So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and

we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.

I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and

Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle.

Well, I was in such a state of shock,

I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later,

when I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew they were dead.



[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming all along

[GIRLS]

They had it coming all along

[VELMA]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

She didn't do it

[VELMA]

But if I done it

[GIRLS]

But if she done it

[VELMA]

How could you tell me that I was wrong?



[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They took a flower

[VELMA]

All along

[GIRLS]

In its prime

[VELMA]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

And then they used it

[VELMA]

But if I'd done it,

How could you tell me that I was wrong?



[MONA(Spoken)]

I loved Al Lipschitz

more than I can possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy...

sensitive... a painter.

But he was always trying

to find himself.

He'd go out every night

looking for himself

and on the way

he found Ruth,

Gladys,

Rosemary and Irving.

I guess you can say we broke

up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive

and I saw him dead.



[ALL]

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum



[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

All along

[Group 2]

All along

[Group 1]

'Cause if they used us

[Group 2]

'Cause if they used us

[Group 1]

And they abused us

[Group 2]

And they abused us

[ALL]

How could you tell us that we were wrong?



[Group 1]

He had it coming

[Group 2]

He had it coming

[Group 1]

He only had himself to blame.

[Group 2]

He only had himself to blame.

[Group 1]

If you'd have been there

[Group 2]

If you'd have been there

[Group 1]

If you'd have seen it

[Group 2]

If you'd have seen it

[ALL]

I betcha you would have done the same!



[LIZ (Spoken)]

You pop that gum one more time!

[ANNIE (spoken)]

Single my ass.

[JUNE (Spoken)]

Ten times!

[HUNYAK (Spoken)]

Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.

[VELMA (Spoken)]

Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

[MONA (Spoken)]

Artistic differences.



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

What's New...

I miss you

So much

I miss you in the morning

How hard it was to get you out of bed

Then you'd curl up on the sofa and fell asleep again.

I miss your sleepy face in the morning.

I miss boiling you hot water in the morning for your bath.

I miss making breakfast for you.

How you'd shiver when you stepped out from the shower...

Then I miss you how you'd rush to finish your breakfast

and then you'd rush out the door to work and I'd close the door behind you.

I'd be alone for a while.

I'd go to work but I'd be thinking of you every five minutes.

You'd send me messages.

Then I'd drive back home to you.

I miss the look you'd give me when you open the door.

I miss the way you walk.

I miss the way you'd hog the pillows and the blanket while we were watching tv.

I miss watching you watching tv.

I miss you sitting infront of my computer.

I miss all the stupid videos you watch on youtube and how you'd force me to watch them.

I miss all the crappy love songs you'd ask me to put into you I-pod.

I miss our little quarrels.

I miss our break-ups.

I miss buying you your favorite chocolate.

I miss our make-ups.

I miss how you'd point your long fingers at me.

I miss the crazy shuffle dance you'd make.

I miss how you'd make me join you.

I miss you standing infront of my tv with the remote in one hand.

I miss your smile and most of all I miss your silly laughter.

I miss how you'd nag to me to do things.

I miss how you'd take my news materials and pretend to be a newsreader.

I miss your little stories,

How you'd look annoyed if I wasn't paying any attention to you.

I miss driving you around.

I miss how we'd pretend not to know one another in public.

I miss watching you while you eat your dinner and cleaning up afterwards.

I miss picking up your clothes on the floor.

I miss doing laundry for you.

I miss ironing your shirt and hanging them.

I miss how you'd pretend to be nice just to ask me to get you something.

I miss you sleeping on my couch while I do my work.

I miss looking at you while you hog my pillows.

I miss carrying you to bed

How your hands would fall down while I'm carrying you.

I miss covering you up in the blanket and watching you curl up inside.

I miss the little talks we had in the dark.

I miss how you'd fall asleep so fast then leaving me talking to myself.

I miss your cute snores.

They used to bother me so much,

I miss clapping so loud when you snore just to make you stop

I guess up till now,

You never knew what woke you up.

I miss walking out on you when you sleep to finish my work.

I miss checking out on you while you sleep,

Just to see if the blankie came off,

They always do.

I miss prying the pillows from you and the blankie too.

I miss being pushed to the edge of the bed.

I miss you in my life, my house, my car.

They seems so empty without you.

I'm so empty without you.

I miss apologizing for all the things I've done,

Things I should've done.

I miss you.

My world is bleak without you in it.

It's BLOOMING AND SMELLED SCARY

Hoya from Durian Perangin...

Light pink Hoya (Note the top left flower with 4 petals)

Dischidia sp?