I'll Remember Today

It's funny how some people can sleep at night after breaking someone elses' heart.

Alive but...

I received a text message earlier... A disturbing one...

But before I go into the text message, lemme tell you what happened about an hour before my phone goes off beeping incoming message...

I showered (as usual...
I tend to get emotional in the bathroom, So it was a long bath) and thought to myself, a big mug of coffee with something extra (dont ask!) might do me good.

But then I realised I'm out of creamer...

So I went out and drove to the shop...
That's the time when my phone goes off amidst the blaring speaker playing david Ushers' Black Black Heart and the air was thick with ciggy smoke.

It reads:
U, I just broke up. I really need some one to talk to. I think I'm going to hurt myself.

Poor soul.

Lemme rephrase that... Damn stupid bastard, I TOLD U SO...

As if I dont have my own problems to think about, believe me... I have enough. More than I can handle.

There...
So I threw my phone inside the car, went out and bought my creamer and I also bought summore coffee, although I had bought a pack recently, but it's just so annoying to feel like having coffee with creamer and lots of sugar and suddenly realising that you're out of either sugar, or coffee or creamer.

Anyway after buying the creamer, I got into my car, started the engine and drove.

I was lost in my train of thoughts when I realised... I was already at the dark, dark road behind the airport.

Scary.

I didn't even remember driving that far.
So I turned around and drove back to Kuah. Here's the best part. I remembered driving home and reaching Kuah. But then I realised I passed the junction to my house and suddenly I'm at the Jetty Point!

Twice in one night.

So anyway, the moral behind this story is that... There is no moral in life... It's just people trying to fit into what most people think is right.

And for some people, they just dont care. They dont care what they say or do is hurting other people in a bad bad way.

Wounded skin dries up, heals, maybe leaving a scar.
And you'd ask me... "Do I look like I care?"

The truth is, you did look like you cared, but you didn't care at all.
I fell for it.
Thank you.
Now I know.

As our starsign said- the most unlikely union... One of you might just go out to the store and never come back...

One of these days, you'll get back what you gave.

Do I look like I care?

I'll Be Alright...

I'll Be Alright : Anggun

Tell me is it worth the pain
When our pride plays the wrong game
Blinded by suspicious mind
Thought u could read my heart and cross the line

In everything u see
Keep everything back me

Though my broken heart,
tear my dreams apart
I'll be alright
I'll be alright
Just a broken heart,
not a word to fight
I'll be alright
I'll be alright

Deep that bad taste in your mouth
Half your truth stay on your side
Unleash all your demons free
They've been hiding
All that u've refused to see
Take everything back me

Though my broken heart,
tear my dreams apart
I'll be alright
I'll be alright
Just a broken heart,
not a word to fight
I'll be alrightI'll be alright

Obvious inside
I'll be alright

Through the years,
many tearsI have wasted
I've moved on, moving on

Can't erase
can't replaced
What I've tasted
Life's goes on,
an on...

p/s: I am in my self destruct mode. Spiralling downward in accelerating speed. Gaining momentum, looking forward to hit the bottom.

Post LIMA2007 Jitters... Enam2007

Yesterday I went to Pantai Pasir Tengkorak.


Alone. No plans. Just start the car and drove there.


With the top open and my Paris Hilton shades (locally known as spek mata Altantuya).


Maybe I was bored. Maybe I am boring. I bore mkyself to death.


That's nothing new.


I am known to get bored easily. It's like when I'm paying attention to something, it'll be like it/he/she is the centre of the world but then when the darkness of boredom descends... Hehehe... Mati la ko kat situ...


Anyway, back to my unplanned trip, I thought I would be alone there, but there are still leftover tourists hanging out there. I met Ms. Suriati and her BF with Ms. Wan (Anggun look-a-like but sleeker, less curvy) from KL. She's cool.


Went makan (well actually melantak gila babas) at DJ Sham Beach Corner. I think I made people nervous as the waitress actually spilled, no, poured a whole glass of Kopi Ais onto my laps. Dang! Anyway, we tried those Nasi Ayam Thai (Yellow spiced rice with chicken), then shared Nasi Goreng Belacan (that got A+ for presentation, B for Taste- Maybe because we kenyang already). Ms. Suriati belanja! Muahaha... Makan pree hehehe!


Anyway, long story short (too late!)... PIX!

Some of the more interesting LIMA2007 pix...

I'll call this "Dead, Deader, Dumb and Uninteresting".

Dead (the red soft coral thingy that looks like fern frond), Deader (that cockle shell), Dumb and Uninteresting (the concrete block)...

Gloomy day adding reminding me, no matter how bleak my day is, there's always some ugly kid, unattended by his parents, playing sand somewhere...

(I know I'm not making any sense, but great poets always do this, to sound poetic).

Me trying to be artistic with my point and shoot camera.

I'll call this one "Woody, Stoney and Sandy".

Some kind of wild Hoya sp. I saw flower stalks but no flower.

Some moss and a tree with serious skin condition, accordring to Ms. Suriati, the locals call this Pokok Gelam. There are 2 versions, one red as shown above, the other one is pink and fragrant (must be one of those feminine tree!)

Finally... It ended... Now the pesky local tourists can leave...

They say you cant say anything bad about your guest. We've been having lots and lots of people in Langkawi nowdays for LIMA2007. Now that LIMA2007 has ended, they can stop jamming our traffic, crowding our favorite makan haunts, stop making such a long line at the gas station, stop dragging their pesky children to cross the road, the children are hideous! They can get lost, good. (I am not saying anything bad as I end my last statement with "good", right?)

Here's some pix of LIMA2007. Lesson learned.

Hope to see you outside of Langkawi in 2009.

Abang Jan (McJan) and Me with Kereta Kebal (Kebal... Not Kabel... Lain tu)

I saw this Dragonfly... Damn huge... Damn noisy too

LIMA2007 ended with a success, behind the scene, well that's a different story...

Here is an artistic redention of how I felt...

A pix of my own shadow on the hot blazing tarmac. Note that the yellow line is my patience limit...

Dangerously tested.

Horror Serkup.... Yeah Rite...

ZODIAC SIGNS

Once you have read this thread, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictions.

Read your sign, then forward it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line.

This is real deal, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning and it only gets worse from there.



ARIES - The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward. (Hmm... No wonder my past loves were mostly Arians...)

TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward. (I used to date a Taurean too)

GEMINI - Irresistible
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

(Hehehe... Hahaha... Hihihi... Sat, nak komen...
Nice(???!!!).

Love is one of a kind (More like 1 kind for each lovers, usually simultaenously).

Great listeners (Oooo... you mean they're great in preteding that they are listening...)

Very Good in the you know where (Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh YES!!!)...

Lover not a fighter (the tongue is mightier than the sword, a real sword!), but will still knock you out (with insults and accusations).

Trustworthy(totally unreliable... If he/she goes out to buy something on Sunday, dont expect them to come back until the next Saturday, learn to live with that, and you'll be OK).

Always happy (in public, if he/she lives with you, you'll understand what I'm talking about).

Loud (Nope... No moaning, no huffing/puffing).

Talkative (if he/she not making fun of you, then maybe he/she making fun of someone else, or maybe complaining about work, then continue complaining about body aches, then complaining about you not listening to what he/she is complaining about...).

Outgoing (with other people)

VERY FORGIVING (after you've pleaded, begged, cried your heart out, after seven working days).

Loves to make out (mine's must be defective... Always trying to avoid IT using lame excuses...).

Has a beautiful smile (TRUE).

Generous (errr? You mean when they go shopping for themselves?).

Strong (YEAP).

THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE (I'm dumbfounded in a good way). 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward. )

p/s: I'm dating 1 at the moment.

CANCER - The Cutie

MOST AMAZING KISSER.

Very high appeal.

Love is one of a kind.

Very romantic.

Most caring person you will ever meet!

Entirely creative.

Extremely random (random as in not in anyway reffering to random sexually) and proud of it.

Freak.

Spontaneous.

Great telling stories.

Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it.

Someone you should hold on to. (This worth repeating a few times more... Someone you should hold on to. Someone you should hold on to. Someone you should hold on to. )

12 years of bad luck if you do not forward. (The person who did this study and wrote this is a REAL genius!)

LEO - The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO - The One That Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with.. you might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke Very Good sense of humour. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward

PISCES - The Partner For Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Centre of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humour!!! Thoughtful. Always lets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Five Months of Pure Ecstacy and Some Torture

It's the fifth month of my relationship/relationshit with A. We didn't really say it when it all began and now it feels like the end as we're both so very extremely busy with our carreer... Right! Such a lame excuse...

Anyway, latest update on my life... I cleaned the house. Bought a coffee table for two (now am storing away the other chair as I don't think I'll be needing it), bought 2 bedside lamps with bedside tables, bought a huge mirror, called maids to clean the house and just now, I bought myself a new wallet and a painters' set to keep me busy- just living a normal guys' life.

My pc broke down.

My love life is falling apart but that's nothing new. You win some, you lose some.

I sent my pc to the shop and they recovered all my old old files. That's the winning part... Anyway, nothing new. I can't imagine living for a thousand years like this. Too static. Am going crazy.

As I said earlier on, when it all began we didn't actually say "relationship starts now", so I guess it doesn't matter if there's still something, if anything left to save. i'm not holding on, I'm not letting go. I think I'll just let it be.

Song for the moment: Roxettes' The Sweet Hello and Sad Goodbye.

Red like fire was the day i met you.

I tell you now, there are no regrets.

In this room there are many memories.

Some are good, some i try to forget.

I thought we were the chosen ones,

Who were supposed to fly.



We're very much the same, you and i.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

Still waiting to get hurt, time after time.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

When love lies in our hands, we seem to run and hide.

And i can't help but wonder why.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.



My heart was like a runaway train, babe.

I don't believe i've ever felt more alive.

In this room i hear voices linger.

We never talked about the price.

You know you're not the only one,

Who knows how to cry.



We're very much the same, you and i.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

Still waiting to get hurt, time after time.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

When love lies in our hands, we run away and hide.

And i can't help but wonder why.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.



We're very much the same, you and i.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

Still waiting to get hurt, time after time.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

When love lies in our hands, we run away and hide.

And i can't help but wonder why.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

Goodbye.



The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.

The sweet hello, the sad goodbye.