The Greatest Betrayal Ever.

Disclaimer: these are my thoughts. It may or may not be as it happens, more likely the versions that I remember. I might come back and change parts of it. So here goes... 

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When you are eager to live life to its fullest, your body decides to pop some immortal cells in the most unfortunate of unfortunate body part that you have.

Anal Squamous Cell Carcinoma.

The pain is like being anally violated by someone that you hate, when you're not in the mod and unwilling, without lube. The pain is constant. 

Imagine going about your day with a big fat dick in your butt. Forgive me, but I am sure, you'll be as cranky as I am. 

What hurts more that this cancer? Well the I think the chemo is bearable, the long chemo drip, the hospital stay and the hospital food sucks. The radiotherapy was OK for a while. The only redeeming factor was the Chemotherapy staffs. They're a cheerful bunch. I hated being told to drink 2 litres of water and told to hold it in until the sessions done though. 

The recovery hurts more than cancer. It burned me. I was raw around my tummy, my groin, my genitals, my butt. I can't imagine how "cooked" my insides were. It caused my really bad diarrhea. The first night I came back, I went to the toilet more than 50 times. Imagine washing your burnt bum. 

Well, that's life.