I Dig This...

"I am not the fairest flower in the garden, nor am I a thorn in any man's path...People may think well or ill of me as they please: I act as my nature prompts me."


[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!



[ANNOUNCER]

And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

(4X)



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it



[VELMA]

I betcha you would have done the same!



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!

(2X)



[LIZ (Spoken)]

You know how people

have these little habits

That get you down. Like Bernie.

Bernie like to chew gum.

No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day,

And I am really irritated, and

looking for a little sympathy

and there's Bernie layin'

on the couch, drinkin' a beer

and chewin'. No, not chewin'.

Poppin'. So, I said to him,

I said, "You pop that

gum one more time..."

and he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall

and I fired two warning shots...

...into his head.



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would

Have dome the same!



[ANNIE (Spoken)]

I met Ezekiel Young from

Salt Lake city about two years ago

and he told me he was single

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd

fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.

And then I found out,

"Single" he told me?

Single, my ass. Not only

was he married

...oh, no, he had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know. So that

night, when he came home, I fixed him

his drink as usual.

You know, some guys just can't hold

their arsenic.



[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!



[JUNE (Spoken)]

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen

carvin' up the chicken for dinner,

minding my own business,

and in storms my husband Wilbur,

in a jealous rage.

"You been screwin' the milkman,"

he says. He was crazy

and he kept screamin',

"you been screwin the milkman."

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times!



[ALL]

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!



[HUNYAK (Spoken in Hungarian)]

Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg

lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan

vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja

Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam

a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...



[JUNE (Spoken)]

Yeah, but di you do it?



[HUNYAK]

UH UH, not guilty!



[VELMA]

My sister, Veronica and

I did this double act

and my husband, Charlie,

used to travel round with us.

Now, for the last number in our act,

we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row

One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles,

back flips,flip flops, one right after the other.

So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and

we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.

I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and

Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle.

Well, I was in such a state of shock,

I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later,

when I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew they were dead.



[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming all along

[GIRLS]

They had it coming all along

[VELMA]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

She didn't do it

[VELMA]

But if I done it

[GIRLS]

But if she done it

[VELMA]

How could you tell me that I was wrong?



[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They had it coming

[VELMA]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

They took a flower

[VELMA]

All along

[GIRLS]

In its prime

[VELMA]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

And then they used it

[VELMA]

But if I'd done it,

How could you tell me that I was wrong?



[MONA(Spoken)]

I loved Al Lipschitz

more than I can possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy...

sensitive... a painter.

But he was always trying

to find himself.

He'd go out every night

looking for himself

and on the way

he found Ruth,

Gladys,

Rosemary and Irving.

I guess you can say we broke

up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive

and I saw him dead.



[ALL]

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum



[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

They had it comin'

[Group 2]

They had it comin'

[Group 1]

All along

[Group 2]

All along

[Group 1]

'Cause if they used us

[Group 2]

'Cause if they used us

[Group 1]

And they abused us

[Group 2]

And they abused us

[ALL]

How could you tell us that we were wrong?



[Group 1]

He had it coming

[Group 2]

He had it coming

[Group 1]

He only had himself to blame.

[Group 2]

He only had himself to blame.

[Group 1]

If you'd have been there

[Group 2]

If you'd have been there

[Group 1]

If you'd have seen it

[Group 2]

If you'd have seen it

[ALL]

I betcha you would have done the same!



[LIZ (Spoken)]

You pop that gum one more time!

[ANNIE (spoken)]

Single my ass.

[JUNE (Spoken)]

Ten times!

[HUNYAK (Spoken)]

Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.

[VELMA (Spoken)]

Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

[MONA (Spoken)]

Artistic differences.



[LIZ]

Pop

[ANNIE]

Six

[JUNE]

Squish

[HUNYAK]

Uh uh

[VELMA]

Cicero

[MONA]

Lipschitz!