Comparing Notes...

My horoscope says...
July 20, 2007

Sure, things are not going smoothly now, but chaos offers a lot of inspiration.

Some good old-fashioned romance is just what you need to soothe your heart and soul. Unattached? Not a problem. Take yourself out for a lovely night on the town, or better yet, stay in. Indulge yourself.

My friends' horoscope says...
July 20, 2007

Positive vibes hit you early this morning, and the energy may overwhelm you a bit!

Saying nothing is tantamount to giving this person false hope. It's never easy to be the one to say no, but giving an honest answer is the fair thing to do -- both for yourself and for the other party.


My horoscope says...
July 21, 2007

Focus more on the issues that are going on around your home. Keep it peaceful.

You have a decision to make, but who says you have to make it right away? Weigh all the pros and cons. Most importantly, think about the possible ramifications. What can you live with in the long run?


My friends' horoscope says...
July 21, 2007

What are your thoughts on a new revelation from a friend? Give it time to sink in.

Yes, you can get it done on your own, but if you ask someone for help, you can accomplish twice as much in half the time. Not only that, if others know what you're doing, new and much-needed resources might come your way.

Note to self: Somehow this song seems so appropriate for the moment...

That's The Way Love Goes


Like a moth to a flame
Burned by the fire
My love is blind
Can't you see my desire?
That's the way love goes
Like a moth to a flame
Burned by the fire
My love is blind
Can't you see my desire?

Like a moth to a flame
Burned by the fire
My love is blind
Can't you see my desire
That's the way love goes
Like a moth to a flame
Burned by the fire
That's the way love goes
My love is blind
Can't you see my desire?

Come with me
Don't you worry
I'm gonna make you crazy
I'll give you the time of your life

I'm gonna take you places
You've never been before and
You'll be so happy that you came

Oooooh, I'm gonna take you there
Oo-ooh hoo-ooh oo-ooh
That's the way love goes
Hoo
That's the way love goes
That's the way love goes
That's the way love goes

Don't mind if I light candles
I like to watch us play and
Baby, I've got on what you like

Come closer
Baby closer
Reach out and feel my body
I'm gonna give you all my love
Ooh sugar don't you hurry
You've got me here all night
Just close your eyes and hold on tight

Ooh baby
Don't stop, don't stop
Go deeper
Baby deeper
You feel so good I'm gonna cry


Oooooh I'm gonna take you there
Oo-ooh hoo-ooh oo-ooh
That's the way love goes
Hoo
That's the way love goes
That's the way love goes it goes it goes
Oooh that's the way love goes
Reach out and feel my body
That's the way love goes
Dontcha know
That's the way
Like a moth to a flame
Burned by the fire
My love is blind
Can't you see my desire
Like a moth to a flame
Burned by the fire My love is blind
Can't you see my desire?
That's the way love goes


p/s: this is driving me mad...

Feels like It's Over, Even If It's Not

Here's a photo narration I've put up to remind me, to never, ever change something, anything about one self for whatever reason(s), real or imagined.


This is how I looked like before I go to bed on my birthday. Yes, I look like this before I go to bed... I think I'm handsome. Sorry for the semi nudity, I love taking pictures of the top half of myself not wearing anything.


10 minutes before I went on air on that day. That's me with the Technician Crews and Miss Saggie B.


With the woman of my dream (well of of them, hehehe...) My kakak- Ms. Mohani @ Syooks' (That's one hell of an attention grabbing handbag... Nice!)


Me at the barbers' just before I got up and made a 100meters mad dash towards the door, being hit by a truck as I was running and being single handedly dragged by Ms. Sufina back inside and she tied me to the chair.


If you look closely, there are hints of regret there on my face... That's me and Ms. Mirinda trying to look as sexy as possible in public.


Me after a week of going under the snip snip incident. Regret, yes. By the way, this pix is not taken in a loo. No. I dont do loo photo shoot. That's the wall of a makan place called Naga Mas. Should've take back my hair and put it in public auction. I'm broke. I know I'm always broke. Now I'm broke, broke.

How True...

Today my horoscope says: July 19, 2007


If you're itching to get started on something new, that's good -- but be careful.(TOO LATE!)

Are you holding onto a lingering slight? Any buried resentments are holding you back from making progress, especially when your personal life is involved. Be honest with yourself when it comes to the past. (YEAH, RIGHT!)

NOTE TO SELF: Write something and forget about all this. Easier said than done. Ok, try remember this as the stupidest thing ever to happen. Remember how shitty this shitty feeling feels like. Remember it well so it wont happen again.



Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother Angel

I know exactly what goes on



When everything you'll get is

everything that you've wanted, princess

(well which would you prefer)

My finger on the trigger, or

(me face down, down across your floor)

Me face down, down across your floor

(me face down, down across your floor)

Well just so long as this thing's loaded



And will you tell all your friends

you've got your gun to my head

This all was only wishful thinkin,

this all was only wishful thinkin

And will you tell all your friends

you've got your gun to my head

This all was only wishful thinkin,

this all was only wishful thinkin

let's go...



Don't bother trying to explain Angel

I know exactly what goes on when you're on and

How about I'm outside of your window

(how about I'm outside of your window)

Watchin him keep the details covered

You're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)

for a sweet talker, yeah



And will you tell all your friends

you've got your gun to my head

This all was only wishful thinkin,

this all was only wishful thinkin

(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)

And will you tell all your friends

you've got your gun to my head

This all was only wishful thinkin,

this all was only wishful thinkin



Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens

A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins

I will never ask if you don't ever tell me

I know you well enough to know you never loved me

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens

A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins

I will never ask if you don't ever tell me

I know you well enough to know you never loved me

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens

A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins

I will never ask if you don't ever tell me

I know you well enough to know...



Why can't I feel anything

from anyone other than you?

Why can't I feel anything

from anyone other than you?



And all of this was all your fault

And all of this



(I stay jealous)

I stay wrecked and jealous for this,

for this simple reason

I just need to keep you in mind

as something larger than life

(she'll destroy us all before she's through

and find a way to blame somebody else)

I stay wrecked and jealous for this,

for this simple reason

I just need to keep you in mind

as something larger than life

(she'll destroy us all before she's through

and find a way to blame somebody else)

I stay wrecked and jealous for this,

for this simple reason

I just need to keep you in mind

as something larger than life!

Pesky Flies with Bow and Arrow

"Penitent- Feeling or expressing remorse for one's misdeeds or sins"


Once I stood alone so proud

held myself above the crowd

now i am low on the ground.


From here i look around to see

what avenues belong to me

I can't tell what ive found.


Now what would You have me do

i ask you please?

I wait to hear.


The mother, and the matador,

the mystic, all were here before,

like me, to stare You down.


You appear without a face,

disappear, but leave your trace,

i feel your unseen frown.


Now what would you have me do

I ask you please?

i wait to hear

your voice,

the word,

you say.

i wait to see your sign

would i

obey?


I look for you in heathered moor,

the desert, and the ocean floor

how low does one heart go.


looking for your fingerprints

i find them in coincidence,

and make my faith to grow.


Forgive me all my blindnesses

my weakness and unkindnesses

as yet unbending still.


struggling so hard to see

my fist against eternity

and will you break my will?


Now what would you have me do

i ask you please?

i wait to hear

your voice,

the word

you say

i wait

to see your sign

could i

obey?


I know this song's been here once before... But somehow, songs of the moment always have a scary way of reflecting out feelings.

Some feelings are very like a precious flower. They should be nurtured, protected and cared for.

While some feelings are like weed. They need to be plucked out and throw into a raging fire.

Like this song

Blowing Kisses in the Wind- Useless, Worthless thing to do, Supposedly a Romantic Gesture- but then again, romance exists only in movies and songs. It's dumb and it makes people go dumb.



So tell baby tell

Your true heart

Say what you say

When youre all alone
Im trying

Trying to try

And feel you

And see if I see

Im feeling alone

And all I want is

To get through

So baby, youd see that the

Way youre leaving me

It wont do

Its like im...


Blowing kisses in the wind

Giving you love that you

Havent been given

I cross my heart

And hope to die

Im only wishing youd

Love me like i

Blowing kisses in the wind

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Waiting for you is

Like blowing, blowing kisses


So please baby, please

Release me

If time after time

Your hearts growing cold

Im saying

If you dont believe

In believing

Then how could true love

Ever be so

And all I want is

To get through

So maybe youd see that the

Way youre leaving me

It wont do

Its like im


Like Im like blowing kisses

Im some-biddy-bum-bum

Like Im blowing kisses

And all I want is

To get through

So maybe youd see that the

Way youre leaving me

It wont do

Its like im


Like Im blowing

Kisses in the wind

Like Im blowing

Kisses in the wind

Like Im blowing

Kisses in the wind

Waiting for you us

Is like blowing,

Blowing kisses

And as for the pix... I could do better. I could do worst. Much, much worst.

A Matter of Seven Working Days

So this is my new face. Gotta live with this face for the time being. I know. I look cool. In fact, I look younger than when I kept my hair longer. People been making such a fuss over the stupid hair-do change. But in a case of what's done is done, you'll have to live with it, but you don't have to like it.

Well anyway, what I did today... I got pissed off. But that's nothing new. I'm always pissed off about something. Sometimes I wish I could cry more. I read somewhere that crying is actually a form therapy.

I also read somewhere, when you have this urge to write, go ahead and write it down. You could mean what you write or you could not mean it. It's like rearranging your thoughts. It's like spring cleaning for the head. And my head is such a mess.

Sometimes I think it's time to put a stop to all of this nonsense. Sometimes I think it's about time to move on, move to some place new, create more new nonsense.

Back to the writing thingy, there are 2 options for you to consider, option 1, you can go ahead, knock yourself out and write, like what i did:

About Love.

Love is a rapture. No, love is like a serial rapist. Why? It's unlikely that one will be raped in ones' own bed, at home. I mean it happened before and is happening now but not often enough.

Love attacks and you'll never know when and where it'll jump on you and catch you by suprise. Then it throws you on to the cold hard concrete and rapes you.

Or it would take you by the hand and serenade you with some stupid love song and ask your permission and the moment you said yes, it'll proceed to rape you.

That's not rape, that's making love. But if you feel a stab of regret when it's over, then it's basically a rape case.

My Point is- One can never be ready for love and the extra baggage it brings.

You could spend all your life looking for it and not find it. The closest, maybe you'll catch a glimpse of it.

Or, you could run from it, and it'll be waiting for you some where, ready to rape you.

So there, love is a rapist, with so many willing victims.

The End.

Option 2: When you feel the sudden urge to write creative stuffs, eat something sweet and the feeling will surely go away.

My horoscope for today ain't making any sense.

July 18, 2007


For most people, small details will be invisible today. Be ready to point them out.

Rearranging the facts can bring you a fresh insight. So play around with what you know as if all those pieces of knowledge were parts of a puzzle. Look at them from faraway and up close. See what you discover.

Note to self: Be kind to people. Do onto others' what you want them do onto you.

YEAH, RITE! I think do onto others before they do onto you is more likely. Enough with the self abuse already, I wanna start abusing other people from now on.

What I Said, What I Did, Right Or Wrong...

Ok... I know. I've been truely unthorough about my postings lately. I've written things, misleading things that mislead people, but I dont care about people, I care about my fellow readers, who are, fortunately are my friends.

So the real reason of this posting is because of a posting a few days back involving a vase, orchids, gerberras and the papery blue flowers and... And the color blue and I think about the person who loves the color blue.

I just have to say that, I always think of my friends (yes, even though I dont call/text/email them often) and I care for them a lot. I think I care for my friends even more than I care for myself. And I know that my friends care for me. I know they only want the best for me and I love them for it. I really, really, really, really love them. But sometimes, the best isn't always what we want. I feel love like everyone else. I feel what other people feel. Maybe more.

I think my past, my future and what I really am, doesn't change my relationship with people around me, people I dont know, I dont care. People I know and love.

I will never wish anything other than my friends to be happy. I wish my friends would wish me the same.

So there, the answer to all question is never always a yes or a no. I can go and tell people about what I did, what I'll do and more. But there's always be secrets.

A riddle concealed in a mystery, wrapped inside an enigma. Me.

Grrr.... Growl, Snarl, Roll Over, Play Dead...

So it's almost a week past my birthday and I'm still receiving gifts... What can I say? I thought I'm not so popular (mind you, among friends and co-workers) but I received a pen (in cool bronzish color that goes well with my dark outfit- color-coordinated to suit my suave needs... Haha...) from Miss B and a dancing giraffe toy from Che Nani.

Nothing interesting happened today. Went to work as usual, I was mumbling here and there as there's something's wrong with my eyes... It's kinda sorta like blurry. After work, was invited personally by Miss B to her office... Got tips on how to use wind and diaphragm, or is it diagphram? Whatever... News reading is not as easy as it seems especially when you're blessed with youthful, vibrant, cheerful voice... Radio Newsreaders who reads news for 10 minutes straight deserves better pay.

After office me and Ms. Leo went to LTAC to discuss about hosting the Hot and Happening Weekend 2007. It's confirmed. I'm officially Hot and Ms. Leo will be Happening over the weekend. After that I didnt know what to do so I asked a friend and we just drove around Langkawi. Kuah-Kisap-Durian Perangin-Ayer Hangat-Tanjung Rhu-Ulu Melaka- Chenang-Porto Malai-Chenang (stopped by and walked at the beach)-Bukit Malut-Kuah-Padang Pasir (Had roti kawin+susu lembu or in mamaks' tongue - susu lumbu). I had a wonderful time. Just got back and had to wake up at 6am later... Now it's 2.10am. I guess I better sleep now. Nite nite world.

July 16, 2007

You're no bargain-basement friend! Separate yourself from people who don't get it.

Children play a big part in your creative processes today, whether that means discovering a part of your own past or garnering inspiration from the kids in your life. It always helps to look around you with fresh eyes.

Note to self: No notes for tonight... Too P&C to share. P&C could be private and confidential, or it could be Problematic and Chaotic, or it could be Pelam and Cempedak, or Petai and Cuka, or even Potatoes and Cucumbers. But one thing I learned tonight is that- innocent looking people can talk foul but in a good way. Gotta write'em in my diary. Oh, I forgot, I didn't have one!